


Saving Sister Mary Eunice

by MyStubbornMind



Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Asylum
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape, Self-Harm, Shock
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-05
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-04-30 02:45:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5147387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyStubbornMind/pseuds/MyStubbornMind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if the Monsignor had not let Sister Mary Eunice go? What if Lana found Mary when looking for Jude?</p><p>**Slight AU, obviously because of Mary Eunice, some minor changes such as dates.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be a multi part series, I have worked a lot on this, I have been spending so much time working on this, its like my child, my really needy child. So I will be going back and changing things sometimes, adding little bits and pieces. I would also like to add that yes this is quite dramatic, but if you really think about their situation, if this had actually happened, it would be likely that both women would be suffering from major PTSD and other psychological problems. So bare with me, I'm kind of a perfectionist and I want this to be realistic.  
> Thanks, Enjoy!

“I’m sorry Monsignor, I’m tired of fighting.” Sister Mary Eunice cried, “I wanna let go.”  
“I know you are tired Sister,” the Monsignor looked into her eyes, “but I will not let you go now.”  
“What? No Please.” She begged, shaking from her sobs.   
“Please, someone restrain this woman!” two male guards ran over and grabbed Mary from behind. “I will return you to your state of grace.”

Sister Mary Eunice was admitted to Briarcliff only days after the exorcism, though she was no longer known as Sister Mary Eunice, but was now only known as Mary Eunice McKee. After the demon was cast from her body the Monsignor failed at restoring the young woman to her state of grace, the girl was overcome with regret due to the events that had occurred during her possession, and was found unconscious in her room by the Monsignor after a failed suicide attempt, that was when he gave up on saving her. 

Chapter One  
1965

“Sister Jude, I want to speak to her right now.” Lana Winters demanded, walking into the Monsignors office.  
“I’m afraid that’s impossible.”  
“I dont give a shit about how many pills you’ve got her doped up with.”  
“Sister Jude is dead.” he pulled a file from a drawer next to him, he handed it to Lana “Believe me Miss Winters she’s long gone.” Lana thumbed through the file and looked up.  
“Could I at least take a look around?” She asked suspiciously.  
“If you insist,” he looked over at the man next to him and nodded.  
Turning around, Lana made her way down the hall towards the women’s ward.

\---

Mary Eunice sat in the corner of her cell shaking, recovering from another round of electroshock therapy. She sat scratching at the deep cuts left on her forearms from the attempt she made on her life, without warning, she was hit with a flashback, it was of when she took Frank’s life, the night that Jude was admitted.  
“It wasn’t me,” she sobbed shaking her head, rocking back and forth. She was so tired, she hadn't been able to sleep in days, afraid of what might happen if she wasn't paying attention, and the nightmares, they were unbearable.

\---

Lana slowly and cautiously walked through the women’s ward, stopping when she reached the door to the cell that had once held her. She peered in through the small barred opening in the door.  
“It wasn’t me,” Lana could hear a familiar voice cry from inside, she looked closer to see a thin pale young woman curled up in the corner of the cell.  
“Who’s in there?” Lana looked back at the man behind her, “I know that voice.” The young woman turned and looked out at Lana, “Sister Mary Eunice?” The woman quickly turned back and hid her face from view, the face Lana saw was not of the harsh woman who had brought so much pain, but of the girl she had met on her first visit, the same girl that she had seen many times before afraid to even hurt a fly.  
“I think you’ve seen enough here, let’s move on.” the man tried to move Lana along, but she refused to move. Lana could see the girl trembling with fear, she noticed marks on her temples, and two marks, one on each side of her head, marks that could only be caused by something Lana herself was far too familiar with, and vertical gashes on her forearms.  
“Can I please at least talk to her?” Lana looked at the man wide eyed, swaying her hips and biting her lip, stepping closer to him.  
“Fine, but you’ve only got a few minutes.” he backed up grabbing his keys and unlocked the cell door allowing Lana to step in.

\---

Mary turned around when she heard the door being unlocked and then opened, she watched as a familiar looking woman stepped in and approached her. She couldn't quite place the woman, her head still buzzing from the electricity that had surged through her body not long ago, Mary’s gaze lowered noticing that the woman was with child.  
“Sister Mary Eunice?” the woman crouched down and reached towards her placing a hand on her shoulder, Mary flinched at the contact, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to startle you,” the familiar woman pulled back “I know how it feels to always be on edge.”   
Mary stared at the woman for a moment before she realized who was in front of her, “M-miss Winters?” Mary stuttered looking up at the woman through light-sensitive eyes. “Oh, Miss Winters! I-I’m so sorry!” the girl grabbed onto Lana’s dress, “I’m so sorry, it’s all my fault! Everything is m-my fault!”

\---

Lana moved her hand and placed it on the girl’s dirty cheek, “Shhh, don’t get yourself worked up,” Brown eyes looked into wide faded blue ones. “Don’t blame yourself.”  
“But Miss Winters.”  
“You don’t belong here.” Lana began to notice that the girl's youthful glow had vanished, her face was sunken in from obvious signs of starvation, what had once been a beautiful mane of gold, had turned a matted greyish mess. “I’m so sorry for what they have done to you,” Lana looked at the red marks on the girl's temples.  
“I’ve deserved all of it.”

\---

The door to the cell opened and the man entered, Mary pulled back from Lana and went back to hiding in the corner. “Miss Winters,” the man motioned towards the hallway, Lana nodded.  
“I’ll be back for you,” she whispered to Mary Eunice, “I promise.” She looked at the girl who was peering back at her through hair shielding her face.

\---

Lana pushed the door to the Monsignors office open, eyes ablaze with anger. “What have you done to Sister Mary Eunice?”  
He looked up from a file, “What God would have wanted.”  
“What God would have wanted? There is hardly anything left of her, she is beyond miserable! Does this God of yours enjoy watching young girl's suffer and waste away to nothing?”  
“She should be glad to have her body back,” he stammered “but she is no longer a member of the church, after the attempt she made on her own life.”  
“I’m not surprised, after what that thing did to her, to you, I’m surprised you didn't just kill her yourself!”  
“She is getting the help she needs here.”  
“Help? You call what you are doing help? Damnit! Have you seen her? It looks like the poor girl hasn’t slept or eaten in days, she’s afraid of being left alone!” Lana shouted, “Originally I came here for Jude, but because it seems Jude is no longer with us, I think it would be in Mary Eunice’s best interest for me to take her home to stay with me.” The two officers that had come with Lana entered the room after hearing the commotion  
“Sir,” One of the officers spoke up, “from what we have seen and overheard, we agree with the woman and think it would be in both the girl's and your best interest to let Miss Winters here take the girl home.”  
“What do you mean”  
“We’ve seen the conditions here,” the other man spoke up, “and I think the last thing you would want is for more officers to be poking around in here with a warrant.”  
The Monsignor eyes widened, he turned around and pulled a file and handed it to Lana “Miss Winters do with this what you’d like, but I warn you, I don't think you know what you are in for.”  
Lana took a file labeled ‘Mary Eunice McKee’ from the Monsignor, Lana quickly flipped through it, she looked back to the officers behind her and nodded, “She’s coming home with me.”


	2. Chapter 2

A male nurse met Lana at the front of Briarcliff, he handed her a small bag that held what was left of Mary Eunice's belongings. “Come with me.”  
Lana followed him down the hall and back into the women's ward, upon entering the cell, Mary looked up, kneeling next to the girl, Lana wrapped an arm around her thin waist, and helped her up. Mary grabbed Lana’s shoulder for extra support, together they walked out of that cell and out of Briarcliffe.

Lana helped Mary into the passenger seat of her car, closing the door behind her, walking around to the other side, ‘One day I will shut this place down’ she thought to herself looking up at the large red brick structure, slipping into the car.  
Mary turned and looked over, watching as Lana sat down and got settled, the older woman turned and reached for a blanket from the backseat, she wrapped it around the shivering girl, put the car into gear and drove away from Briarcliffe.

It was about an hour drive to Lana’s house from Briarcliff, Lana looked over at the girl next to her who was resting her head against the window, her eyes closed, shivering, Mary whimpered and Lana reached over, inviting the girl to rest against her for comfort and warmth. Mary was startled by her touch, she hadn't been asleep. “Hey, I’m sorry I didn't mean to startle you,” Lana whispered “if you’d like you can lean against me.”  
Mary Eunice looked up and nodded, then rested her head on Lana's shoulder.  
Lana could feel the girl’s tension slowly fade as she rested against her.  
“Try and get some sleep, we’ve still got about forty five minutes until we arrive.” She wrapped her arm around Mary for extra comfort and could feel the girl begin to drift off.  
They were about five minutes from the house when Lana felt Mary becoming restless, she began shaking and whimpering, tears began to stream down her cheeks. Lana pulled the young woman tighter against her, gently stroking her arm.

When they reached the house, Lana put the car in park and grabbed Mary’s things from the back seat. Lana walked around and opened the passenger door, Mary Eunice had already awoken due to the loss of contact. Lana reached for the girl, helping her out of the car, she wrapped her arm around Mary’s waist and helped her up the path, fiddling with her keys as she unlocked the door and helped the girl into the house.

Mary sat curled up on the couch watching Lana in the kitchen as she made the girl something to eat, when she came out carrying a plate Mary quickly turned away hiding her stare.  
“Here, you need to eat something,” Mary Eunice looked over at the plate and scrunched her nose, Lana knelt down next to her, “Mary you really need to eat something, you can hardly stand on your own.” the young girl still refused the food, “Mary please, I took you out of that place, could you please eat this, if not for you, for me?” Mary felt guilty and grabbed the plate from the woman in front of her, picking up the sandwich and hesitantly taking a bite.  
It had been days since she had last eaten, she had been trying to starve herself, anything to get out of that place, anything to forget. Tears began to form in her eyes, Lana looked at her.  
“Whats wrong?”  
“It’s, I- I just didn’t think I would ever get out,” she began to cry, Lana took the sandwich and placed it back on the plate, placing it on the coffee table she sat down on the couch next to her.  
“I know how that feels.” The older woman sighed, “It’s okay, you're safe now,” Lana reached over and wrapped her arms around Mary and stroked her hair. The young woman rested her head on Lana’s shoulder and sobbed, causing her body to shake violently, Lana did her best to comfort the girl in her arms. “It’s okay, just let it out,” she spoke softly, “it’s okay to cry, when I first got out I would cry myself to sleep, well, if I could fall asleep. It was very lonely, especially since Wendy was gone. I still have nightmares.” A few tears rolled down Lana’s cheek, “but you don’t have to go through this alone,” she sniffled “I’ll be here, I’m not going anywhere, soon it will be hard for me to go anywhere.” Lana looked down at her stomach, the baby inside quite large now, “You’ll get through this, we will get through this, together.”

“Do you think you would be up to taking a bath before you settle in for the night?” Mary nodded. “I’ll go and run a bath for you.” Lana went to get up, but was stopped by the girl reaching towards her.  
“Wait, can I come with you? It’s, it’s just, I don’t feel comfortable being left alone.” Mary clung to Lana’s wrist.  
“Yes, that’s fine,” Mary got up slowly, still holding Lana’s wrist, “from now on you just let me know if you ever need anything.”  
Lana wrapped her arm around Mary’s waist realizing the girl was still very weak, together they walked down the hall stopping in her bedroom, she led Mary to sit down on the side of her bed while she found a nightgown in her closet that the girl could wear. Helping the girl back up she walked her into the bathroom. Mary sat down, watching as Lana got everything ready.  
“I grabbed you one of my old nightgowns, it should fit.” Lana looked over at Mary who was looking at herself in the mirror eyes wide with terror, as if she didn’t know the person staring back at her. “Come on, the bath’s ready,” Lana got up and pulled her away from the mirror gently. Lana reached to help unbutton Mary’s gown, but she pulled away, “I’m sorry, but you are not strong enough to do any of this on your own, I can’t even imagine how much different life has been since you were a nun, but you need to let me help you.” After a few moments Mary nodded and allowed Lana to remove the gown revealing her fragile body. Lana’s eyes went wide, she was shocked at the state of the girl, her body was covered in large bruises, her skin grey from dirt and her ribs were sticking out. Lana looked down at the girl's arms and saw two long vertical gashes one on the inside of each forearm, it looked like the wounds had been reopened several times, not allowing for them to heal properly.  
Mary quickly reached up to cover herself, her body stiffening, bare skin causing her to feel vulnerable. She looked up at the woman in front of her and relaxed, she felt comforted by Lana’s warm brown eyes.  
Lana helped the girl into the tub, grabbing a bar of soap, she began to wash the young woman in front of her. Slowly, the dirt began to wash off revealing the girl's alabaster skin. Next Lana grabbed her shampoo and began working it into Mary’s hair, massaging it, the white suds turning grey as the dirt washed out. Lana had to rewash the girl's hair several times before it returned to its golden blonde color.

Lana helped Mary out of the tub and wrapped a towel around the girl's body, “May I?” Lana gestured towards the girl's arms.  
“Oh.” Mary tried to hide them in shame.  
“You have to let me wrap them up so they can heal properly.” Mary looked at her and nodded, Lana took a first aid kit from under her sink and began to tend to the girl.  
“Here,” Lana handed her a nightgown once she was finished, “You can wear my old things until we can get you your own.”  
“Thank you,” Mary looked up and took the clothes from the woman.  
“Not that they’re old or anything, most of what I have is pretty new, it’s just that I don’t think I will be able to fit in any of it again.” Lana looked down at her stomach, and helped the girl slip into the nightgown, it fit loosely over the young woman's body, “Come on, let’s get you to bed.”  
Together they walked down the hall to the guest bedroom, Lana helped Mary onto the bed and pulled the covers over her shivering body. “Are you comfortable?” Mary nodded.  
“Could you stay with me?” Mary looked at Lana wide eyed, “at least until I fall asleep?”  
“Of course.”

Sister Mary Eunice watched as she repeatedly stabbed the poor woman to death, the blood warm and sticky on her hands, ‘No!’ she tried to cry, ‘Please no! Oh God!’ she screamed, but no words came from her mouth.  
“You’re mine” a voice echoed through her head, “I can do to you whatever I please.”  
‘No! Please don’t make me.’ she cried while wrapping the woman up and dragging her body out into the woods, the blood now cold on her hands. Tears streaked her cheeks, she felt a sharp pain coming from her abdomen. ‘Oh God!’  
Someone began to shake her, “Mary!” she could hear someone shouting from a distance, she was so cold. Why was she so cold?


	3. Part Three

Lana was awoken by Mary Eunice crying, groaning, and rolling around in discomfort. She got up from the chair she had fallen asleep in and ran over to comfort the woman. Lana reached and grabbed Mary, gently shaking her in an attempt to wake her up, “Mary, you’re having a nightmare.” She could feel the girl shaking uncontrollably, she was soaked from sweat and her body was radiating heat. “Mary!” Lana tore the covers off of Mary revealing that the sheets were soaked in blood, “Oh my god.” Lana's eyes went wide “Mary! Wake up!”

Lana thanked the Doctor and shut the door behind him as he left, she headed down the hall into her bedroom, where Mary was asleep, the doctor’s words echoed through Lana’s head, “Miscarriage” he had told her, tears formed in her eyes, the poor girl didn’t even know she was pregnant, and had no idea that what she was doing to her body, denying it of its basic needs, made her unable to support the pregnancy. How was she going to tell her, hadn’t she already been through enough?  
“M-miss Winters?” Mary was awake, “What am I doing in your bed?”  
“You had an accident.” Lana looked down at her lap, she didn’t know what to say.  
“Wh-what happened?” Mary rubbed her eyes then looked over at Lana.  
“When was the last time you cycled?” Lana forced herself to look up at the girl.  
“What?” Mary’s eyes went wide. “Um, I-I don't remember, why are you asking?”  
“It’s just,” Lana looked back down, “when the doctor came to look at you,”  
“There was a doctor?”  
“Yes, he left just before you woke up.” Her eyes began to fill with tears. “It’s I just don’t know how to-” she was cut off.  
“Miss Winters,” Mary looked at her with wide eyes, “please can you just tell me what happened?”  
“I’m so sorry, Mary,” she allowed a single tear to roll down her cheek, “he said that it looked like you had a miscarriage.”  
“What?” tears began to run down Mary’s face, “I. d-didn’t. what?”  
“He said it looked like you were about eighteen weeks along,” Lana reached for the girl's hand, “but due to the state your body is in, you were unable to support the pregnancy, he was surprised that it had even lasted this long, and due to the positioning of the child it made the pregnancy less obvious, she was only about the size of-.”  
“She?” Mary pulled her hand from Lana’s and her body began to shake from her sobs. Lana’s eyes went wide.  
“Oh god,” Lana quickly stood up, “I’m so sorry, I-”  
“It’s not your fault,” Mary was able to say between sobs, she buried her face in her hands, Lana reached over and placed a hand on her back.  
“I’m so sorry, this is the last thing you needed.” She sat down on the bed next to the young woman and pulled her into her arms in an attempt to comfort her. Mary rested her head on Lana’s chest allowing her to be comforted. Mary scooted over to allow Lana to sit more comfortably, the two of them sat there like that for several hours, until they both fell asleep.

Mary woke up the next morning still in Lana’s arms, she felt safe. She looked down and noticed her hand was rested on Lana’s stomach, her eyes flooded with tears at the thought of the child that she had lost, she covered her mouth with her hand trying not to wake Lana, but it was no use, she gasped sharply.  
Lana was woken by Mary’s sob’s, “hey,” she whispered, still waking up, “what's wrong?” she then felt the girl's hand resting on her stomach, and looked into the girl's glossy blue eyes, Mary pulled back.  
“I-I’m so sorry Miss Winter’s,” Mary sobbed, “everything is my fault, the loss of that child, the deaths of all those people, the things that I did.” Lana stopped her.  
“None of that was your fault,” Lana reached to the girl, running her fingers through soft blonde hair, “that wasn’t you.” Lana pulled Mary back into her arms.  
“If it weren’t for me y-you wouldn't have to be carrying that monsters child.” Mary looked up meeting brown eyes.  
“If it weren’t for what happened there, that monster would still be out there killing innocent women.” Lana looked down at Mary, still running her fingers through the girl's hair, “That wasn’t you back there, none of that was you, what happened to the child,” Lana paused for a minute feeling the young woman tense, “that wasn’t your fault, you didn’t know. Don’t blame yourself.”  
“I feel so stupid,” Mary cried burying her face into Lana’s neck, “how could I not have known that I had a child growing inside of me.”  
“That dosen’t matter anymore,” Lana wrapped her arms tighter around the girl, “you couldn’t have known, they had you so fucking drugged up there, I’m surprised you even knew your own name.”  
“The poor Monsignor.” Mary shook her head then wrapped her arms around the other woman’s neck.  
“What are you talking about? He’s the one who should be sorry,” Lana shook her head, rubbing Mary’s back, “he made you suffer in there, he had no right, he knew that wasn’t you who did all those things.”  
“No, it’s not that,” Mary let out a whimper, “he was the father of that child.”  
“What?” Lana felt Mary begin to shake in her arms.

Mary was back at briarcliff, she was in a room with the Monsignor, he had just been thrown back against the bed by some unseen force. Slowly she watched as her body neared the bed, she could sense what her body was about to do, she knew what was under her habit. Pinning him down with invisible binds, she climbed on top of him, her hands being forced to reached down and grab the man's crotch, ‘Oh god, please no! Don't make me!’ her cries went unheard by all except the demon that possessed her body, ‘yes, I have all the control now, you know you like it.’ she could hear it taunting, she began to cry. Her hands moved up removing her veil, golden hair falling onto her shoulders, next pulling off her crucifix, then pulling down her habit, revealing the red lingerie that had been hidden underneath, ‘please, no!’ she cried again, she felt herself straddling the Monsignor, grabbing his hand squeezing it to her breast, she saw a look of disgust in his eyes, but there was a hint of lust. She finally felt her hand slip into his pants and make contact with the man’s sex, causing him to shutter. ‘Please no!’ Mary was screaming now, ‘Please! Dear God! Please don’t make me do this!’. Next thing she knew she could feel her hand under herself slipping him inside of her, heat flooding through her body as she was forced to grind against him. ‘you know you like it’ the voice echoed, ‘please no.’ she pleaded, beginning to give into her exhaustion. “Mary?” she heard a familiar voice from a distance. “Mary!” The voice grew louder.

Mary had passed out in Lana’s arms, and began shaking, “Oh god, please no! Don’t make me!” Mary cried, tears streaking her face.  
“Mary?”  
“Please, no!” she was shaking her head, “Please no!” screaming now, “Please! Dear God! Please don’t make me do this!” Lana could see sweat forming on the girl’s face, Mary’s body went limp, “Please no.” She whimpered.  
“Mary? Mary!” Lana felt Mary stiffen in her arms, the young woman opened her eyes, revealing dilated pupils, “Hey, hey, shhh, you're safe.”  
“M-Miss Winters?” Mary looked up at Lana.  
“Hey, I’m right here, you're safe.” Lana ran her fingers through the girl's, “you're safe here, I won’t let anyone hurt you,” Lana looked into teary eyes, “I promise”

After the miscarriage Lana had decided that it would be best if Mary Eunice just slept with her in the same bed, though the nightmares continued, some nights worse than others. She had to keep a close eye on her, the cuts on her arms had began to heal, but Lana had found new marks on her thighs and the sides of her breasts, the only time she ever left the girl alone was in the bathroom. Lana made the decision to lock up all sharp object after she found a sharp lid from a tin can hidden under the sink in between two pipes in the bathroom. Mary was still very weak, at first her body would reject any food that they tried to put in it, but eventually it began accepting small things, like bread and broth, and after a few weeks Mary began to regain her strength. Lana could see that the girl was still having a hard time adjusting, she could see that the young woman was not all there, often she would forget where she was, talking to people that weren’t there. It was growing harder for Lana to handle her due to the fact that every day the child inside of her was growing bigger, she had decided that because Mary was around, she would keep the baby, she knew it was going to be hard, but felt that it may bring some sense of comfort to the girl.


	4. Part Four

1966

It had been two months since Lana had taken Mary from Briarcliff, the young woman had began to show signs of improvement, able to be left alone for short periods of time under the close watch of Lana, having the strength to carry out small tasks such as making the bed, washing dishes, and even started to make her own clothes from fabric that Lana had ordered for her. The wounds on Mary’s arms had closed over and were beginning to heal properly, Lana hadn’t found any knew cuts on the young woman's body in over a month.  
Lana was now eight months along in the pregnancy and it was becoming more and more difficult to take care of the younger woman, Mary could sense the difficulty that Lana was having and tried her best to help the older woman with as many things as she could, she began insisting on helping Lana with bigger things like cooking and cleaning.  
Lana’s friends Barb and Lois had brought her everything that she needed to prepare for the baby, all the necessities such as cloth diapers, a crib, small blankets, bottles, a few toys, and a rocking chair. They had even convinced Lana to allow them to transform the spare room into a nursery. Though they had been giving Lana a hard time about allowing the girl to sleep in the same bed as her.   
“Miss Winters,” the two would tease mimicking Mary, “oh won't you hold me?”  
Lana would laugh along with them, but she didn't like how they talked about Mary, she hadn’t told them exactly who Mary was, she had told them Mary was a friend who was in trouble and needed somewhere to stay.

Mary Eunice was walking down an unfamiliar hallway, something stopped her raising her arm up and knocking on the door in front of her.  
“Yes?” a man opened the door, he looked kind, “I’m sorry, did Sister Jude send you?”  
“She doesn't know I’m here.” she heard herself respond, but she had no control over her actions, she stepped inside and watched as he was flung across the room, Mary watched as he tried to get up and run into the bathroom.  
‘Oh god, what's happening?’ she tried to cry but nothing came out, she followed him into the bathroom and shoved the man into the mirror, causing it to shatter. She watched as she reached for a large piece of broken glass.  
“Mary!” she could hear someone calling, then felt something grab her and begin to shake her.

“Mary!” Lana was sitting up, shaking the girl next to her, “Mary wake up!”  
“Huh?” Mary whipped tears from her eyes and rolled over to look at the woman next to her, she felt something wet, “Why are the sheets we- OH!”  
“Yeah!” Lana grabbed Mary and pulled her out of the bed, “get changed fast! We have to go now!” Lana’s breaths were quickening.  
Quickly Mary slipped into what she wore the day before and glanced over at the clock and groaned, “He couldn't have chosen a better time?” It was two in the morning, “Come on,” Mary ran over and wrapped her arm around Lana’s waist, “lets go.”

It took twelve long exhausting hours, but at two twenty four in the afternoon little Jonathan was born. Mary had been with Lana through the entire process, Lana had insisted in having her in the room, plus Lana still didn’t feel comfortable leaving the young woman on her own surrounded by strangers in some hospital waiting room.  
Mary took the little boy in her arms and smiled, she brought him over to Lana and handed him to her, she could see that the older woman was having a hard time looking at him, Mary could see tears in Lana’s eyes.  
“I don’t know if I can do this,” Lana whispered, “He looks to much like him.”

“You need to feed him,” the nurse came in after hearing the child crying, “it’ll calm him down.”  
Lana looked over at Mary, who was holding the child trying to calm him, with wide tear filled eyes, “I-I, it’s I just don’t.” Mary got up from the chair she was sitting in and grabbed Lana’s hand.  
“Here,” she handed the child to his mother, “It’ll be okay, I will be here with you.” Mary was nervous, she couldn't help shaking, the child had just brought back memories of what she had lost months before.  
Lana nodded hesitantly and took the child unbuttoning the front of her gown, she put Johnathan up to her breast allowing him to take in a nipple, she gasped, squeezing Mary’s hand, tears running down her cheeks.   
Lana looked down, what she saw wasn’t the baby, her arms were wrapped around Oliver Thredson, she had one hand placed on his head, her breast in his mouth.  
“Mommy.” He looked up at her.

Lana cried loudly, Mary squeezing her hand pulling her back to reality. Lana pulled the child away causing him to cry from the loss of contact, “I can’t.”  
Mary took the child from Lana, and looked up at the nurse. “I’ll go get something else.” Mary looked over at Lana as she sat back down, there was fear and disgust in the older woman's eyes. They both looked up as the nurse walked in with a bottle of formula.  
“Here, try this.” She handed the bottle to Mary who took it and gave it to the crying child. The nurse walked out and Mary looked at Lana.  
“I’m sorry, I,” Mary stopped her.  
“Hey, it’s not your fault,” she could see tears in the woman's eyes, “try and get some sleep, you look exhausted.”

Mary helped Lana out of the car when they arrived at the house the next day, Mary was holding the child, Lana didn’t want anything to do with him. Mary took the keys from Lana and opened the front door for her, holding Jonathan in her other arm.   
“I’m going to lay down,” Lana looked back at Mary as she slowly walked down the hall to their now shared room, “I’m sorry, but I just really need to be alone right now.”  
“Oh, okay, we’ll be out here,” Mary replied looking at the sleeping child in her arms, “I’ll come and check on you soon.”   
She watched as Lana walked away, she sat down on the couch and just watched him sleep, he was beautiful, she didn’t know what Lana was talking about, all she could see in him was her.  
Mary was woken several hours later by Jonathan who was still in her arms, he was squirming and crying, she got up afraid that he might wake Lana, she could tell that he needed to be changed so she took him into the nursery. Once she had changed him she took him into the bedroom and placed him in the crib that Lana’s friends had brought for him. When she went to climb in bed next to Lana she heard whimpers coming from her, Mary looked at the woman next to her and saw a look of fear on her face, she didn't want to wake her, but didn't want to see her like that, so she slowly moved closer to the woman and pulled her into her arms.

Lana was lying in bed reading a book, she felt someone reach over and grab her hand, she looked over, “Wendy?” Lana’s lover was sitting next to her smiling, but she wasn’t alone. Wendy was holding Jonathan in her arms and Oliver Thredson was sitting on the bed next to her with an arm wrapped around her shoulder looking down at the baby.  
“He looks just like his father.” Wendy smiled looking up at the man holding her.  
Lana was shocked, before she could say anything Thredson grabbed a scalpel from the nightstand, ‘what was that doing there?’ she thought to herself, she tried to grab it from him but she was unable to move. Lana watched as the man took the tool and began slicing pieces of skin from the woman next to her, he looked up at her smiling, Lana began to cry, ‘why couldn’t she do anything?’ she looked at Wendy who was smiling back at her, but she was missing teeth, blood was trickling from the side of her mouth, Lana was able to move one arm and place her hand on her lover’s cheek, but it was ice cold. She looked down at the child in the other woman's arms, his face was beginning to turn blue, the hand she had placed on Wendy’s cheek was now wrapped around the baby’s neck, she watched as his body became limp. He began crying, his body still limp and blue, but he was crying.

Lana was awoken by the cries, she was covered in sweat and could tell she had been crying. Jonathan had woken her from the nightmare, his cries brought her back to reality. She felt Mary’s arms wrapped around her, Lana gently detached herself from the sleeping girl and attend to her crying child, she felt that he had saved her from the nightmare.  
Lana reached down into the crib picking up her son and swayed her hips hoping the movement would calm him. Afraid that he might disturbed the woman asleep in her bed, she walked out closing the door behind her and took him into the kitchen. ‘Maybe he’s hungry’ she thought to herself grabbing one of the bottles of formula that Mary had prepared for him. Lana looked down at him as she gave him the bottle, “He looks just like his father” she could hear Wendy saying, but that wasn’t really Wendy. She tried to brush the thought off, but it was no use. Lana rushed back into her room, the baby still in her arms, and turned the lights on.  
“Mary.” the girl didn't move, Lana walked over to her, “Mary, please wake up,” tears began to form in her eyes, the girl rolled over turning away from the woman, “Mary!” Lana was now panicking she grabbed the young woman's shoulder and shook her.  
“Huh?” Mary rolled back over and looked up at Lana, eyes blinking, “Lana? W-what is it?”  
“I-I can't do it,” Mary sat up when she noticed the woman was holding the child, “Please.” Lana held him out, Mary took Jonathan and the bottle from her, “H-he was crying and I thought I should take some responsibility, but I-I just can’t do it.”  
“Lana, it’s okay,” Mary looked into the woman's eyes and could see that she was scared, she smiled at her in an attempt to bring her comfort, “you don’t need to get yourself all worked up over this, it will take a while for you to adjust.”  
Lana felt comforted by the girl's smile, “Thank you.” She walked back to her side of the bed and climbed back in, she moved closer to Mary and placed her arm on the girl’s shoulder. Lana looked over at Mary and smiled, she almost looked happy, the girl looked up and their eyes met, “Thank you.” Lana repeated.  
“No. Thank you.” Mary leaned over and placed a kiss on Lana’s cheek.


	5. Part Five

After Jonathan was born Lana began writing again, she started work on her book ‘Maniac. One Woman’s struggle of survival’. Mary did not like the idea of the book, she felt that Lana should try and forget what had happened, not try to remember, the young woman could see the negative effects that it was having on the woman. Lana would have flashbacks while working on the story, at night Mary would wake to the woman talking in her sleep, crying out for help.

Mary’s nightmares became less frequent, not like she got much sleep, with Lana’s night terrors and Jonathan needing attention, a restful sleep was a rare occurrence. Also, being alone still caused her anxiety, luckily she had Jonathan to focus on, he became the center of her attention, since Lana had become so consumed in her writing. Mary and Lana still shared a room, neither of them wanting to be alone at night, if one had a nightmare the other would be there to comfort her. Jonathan was now three months old and Mary had moved the crib into the nursery so he could sleep on his own at night, with the nursery being right across the hall from their room she was able to hear. As Mary grew closer to Jonathan she could feel herself wanting to spend more time with the woman who brought him into the world.

Lana felt something small and cold slip inside of her, she looked around unaware of her surrounding, where was she? Suddenly she felt a sharp pain inside of her, then something warm and sticky coming from between her legs and covering her hands. Lana looked down, eyes going wide, her hands were covered in blood, her own blood, she was holding what looked like a bent coat hanger, it was still deep inside of her. “Fuck.” Lana whispered to herself, she knew where she was. Briarcliff.  
Slowly she removed the coat hanger, there was still a sharp pain, Lana grabbed the towel lying next to her and began to clean up the mess, blood still slowly trickling from her core.  
“What do you think you’re doing?” Lana looked up to see Mary Eunice in front of her, in her habit, eyes glowing gold, “Now we can’t have you abort this poor innocent life.”  
“Innocent?” Lana made eye contact with the devil, “How can you call what that monster put inside of me innocent?”

“Lana?” Mary entered the woman's study, “I just put him to bed, I brought you your dinner.” Lana had frequently been missing meals, spending all her time shut up in her study, Mary would try to check in on her but with Jonathan growing bigger he needed more attention. Lana had her head down on the desk, she was whimpering and shaking. Mary rushed over quickly placing the plate down on the desk atop of a pile of others from days before, she crouched down next to the crying woman and placed a hand on her shoulder shaking lightly. “Lana? You're having a bad dream.”  
Finally, Lana slowly sat up, tears in her eyes she looked over at Mary, Lana saw that the young woman's eyes were back to there beautiful blue color. Before she could say anything she lunged for the trash can next to the desk and threw up all that was in her stomach, not like there was much.  
“Oh my goodness, Lana are you okay?” Mary stood up and looked down at Lana who was sitting in the chair recovering.  
Lana felt a pain coming from her abdomen, “Fuck.” Lana looked down and noticed blood beneath her. She looked up to see the shocked expression on Mary’s face, “Sorry, I just, it’s just, I get really sick when this happens.” the young woman nodded in understanding placing a hand back on the older womans shoulder, “What I just woke from definitely did not help, at least you were here to wake me.”  
“Was it that bad?”  
Lana looked down, “I’d rather not talk about it.” Mary nodded again, “Geeze it’s late,” Lana began to stand up, but her stomach began to turn, quickly Mary reached over and helped the woman up.  
“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up and to bed.” Lana smiled shyly at the young woman holding her, “You look exhausted.”  
After Mary helped Lana get cleaned up and in bed, she got herself ready, before she had the chance to climb in bed with the other woman she heard cries coming from the other room.  
“I’ll go take care of him, you get some rest.” Lana nodded at her from the bed.  
She walked out of the room and across the hall to the nursery. As she reached down to pick up Jonathan Mary heard Lana call for her from the other room.  
“Mary?” Lana called.  
“Just give me a second to calm him down,” Mary walked back to their room with the boy.  
“Please, I just don’t feel comfortable being alone right now, just bring him in here and sit down next to me with him.”  
“Really?” Lana nodded, Mary was surprised because the child's mother hadn’t wanted much to do with him since he was born.

Lana watched as Mary slowly and carefully slid into bed next to her the baby held up against her chest beginning to quiet down, Lana looked over at Mary and smiled, “It warms my heart to see how much you care for him,” their eyes met, “and you have shown such patience with me.”  
“It’s what you did for me,” Mary smiled back, “I can’t even begin to thank you for all that you have done for me.”  
“Before I went back to Briarcliff for Jude, I had met with a woman,” She broke eye contact looking down at her hands, “I went to her with the plan to terminate the pregnancy.” Lana paused closing her eyes as she was flooded with images of the small apartment she had been in, the cold tools sliding inside of her, the flashbacks.  
“Hey,” Lana’s thoughts were interrupted by Mary, “you don't have to tell me.”  
“No,” Lana felt the young woman move closer to her, “I want to.” Tears began to run down her cheeks, “I couldn’t do it, there had j-just been too much death, and I was so alone, but now I have you.” She looked back up meeting tear filled eyes. “Taking you away from that place was one of the best decisions I’ve made in a long time.” Lana reached over and placed a hand on Mary’s cheek.  
“Really?” Lana nodded, not breaking eye contact with the other.  
“I’m not alone anymore.” The young girl smiled.  
“I feel so safe when I’m with you,” Lana removed her hand from the others cheek and wrapped her arm around Mary pulling her closer, Lana leaned over and rested her head on the shoulder of the taller woman, she looked down at the sleeping child. “and I know it’s been hard for you, keeping him around, but now I feel that I have a purpose in life, to take care of him,” Lana could feel Mary's place a kiss atop of her head, “and you.”


	6. Part Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I so sorry that it's been a while since I've posted anything, I've been extremely busy and stressed lately, also I have been dealing with a bit of writers block. I have written and rewritten this so many times, it's short and not exactly what I wanted, but I owe you something. I will be working my best to get more up. :)   
> And thanks for all the wonderful feed back!

Part 6  
1967

“Happy New Year.” Lana heard mumbled and looked over at Mary Eunice who was just waking, Lana was sitting in bed reading and making notes on her novel, she looked away from her work.  
“Happy New Year.” She smiled down at the girl next to her who had sleep still in her eyes, Lana reached over and swept blonde bangs out of Mary’s face, the rest of her hair had been pulled back into a loose braid.   
The two of them had planned on staying up the night before to welcome in the new year, but because they had both been so busy lately they were exhausted and decided it would be best to celebrate later.  
“How’s it going?” Mary asked sitting up and looking over at the woman next to her trying to sneak a peek at her work.  
“Hey.” Lana put the work down when she noticed blue eyes prying, “I don’t want you reading this, not yet, and I think I’m going to send the first couple of chapters to a few publishers to see what happens.”   
“Sorry I’ve just been so curious, but that sounds like a great idea.” Mary yawned stretching her arms.  
“I know you’ve been wanting to read it, especially since I spend so much time working on it.”  
“Yeah, it gets more attention from you than your own son.” Mary’s eyes went wide, her hand flew over her mouth, “I didn’t mean to say that outloud. I’m sorry Lana.”  
“It’s okay,” Lana looked down at the pen in her hand, “I have been meaning to spend more time with him, it’s just,”  
“It’s okay Lana,” Mary put a hand on Lana’s shoulder, “I know you’ve been working hard lately, I’m always telling that little boy all about his Mommy, and all the good things- Lana?”   
“I-I don’t want him calling me that.” Lana had froze her eyes were wide with fear, quickly she got out of bed, “I’m going to take a shower.”

Lana rushed into bathroom, letting the door slam behind her, “Fuck.” She sighed under her breath walking to the shower. “You’re supposed to be the strong one here.” Lana mumbled to herself after turning on the water, slowly she stripped, allowing the water to reach the right temperature. Once the mirror was fogged over Lana stepped in under the stream of hot water, this was where she did her best thinking.

“Hey little one.” Mary sighed as she leaned down to pick up the crying child, the crying had begun only moments after Lana stormed off into the bathroom. “Mary’s here, everything is going to be okay.” Picking him up she placed the boy on her hip and carried him over to the changing table to clean him up and get him ready for the day. After she took care of Jonathan, Mary carried him across the hall, she placed him down on the floor while she got dressed, keeping a close eye on him. She had decided on a dress that she had just finished working on, it was yellow with long bishop sleeves , she paired it with white tights, the dress was shorter than what she was used to, but she decided it was time that she tried out a few of the new fashion trends. Usually Mary wore her hair up, due to Jonathan, who, when on her hip, would pull at her hair, but she decided her outfit would look best with her hair down.  
As expected, when Mary picked up the little boy he was quick to grab onto her hair with a chubby hand.  
“Jonathan,” Mary frowned at the boy, “what has Mary told you about playing with her hair.” The boy just giggled and continued to pull at blonde strands, “Come on let's get you something to eat.” Mary carried the boy to kitchen and placed him in his high chair next to the small kitchen table. Sitting down next to the child, Mary spooned food into his mouth, while he ate she got up and placed the kettle on the stove.

After a half an hour Lana stepped out of the shower into a thick cloud of steam that lingered in the bathroom. Wrapping a towel around her waist, she walked out of the bathroom and into her closet, she quickly threw on a simple skirt and blouse, then walked back into the bathroom to dry her hair.   
Once Lana was finished, she walked to the kitchen, she could hear singing coming from the kitchen. What she saw when she entered made her smile, Mary was sat next to Jonathan, swaying back and forth in her seat singing to him while she fed him his breakfast.  
“I can’t see me lovin nobody but you for all my,” Jonathan laughed, spitting up some of his food, “when you’re with me baby the skies will be blue for all my life.”  
“Morning,” Lana grabbed a mug from the cupboard and grabbed the kettle from the stove and poured hot water into the mug, “How is he?”  
“He’s fine,” Lana made eye contact with the blonde and smiled, looking away to grab the can of instant coffee and stir a few scoops into her cup.  
“I’m sorry for overreacting earlier,” Lana apologized sitting down in the chair across from Mary.  
“It’s okay,” the blonde looked up from the boy, he had made a mess and Mary was whipping it up.  
“It’s just that,” Lana looked at her son and reached over and placed a hand on his head running her fingers through short brown hair, “when I was being held by that monster, he had called me that.”  
“I’m sorry Lana, I had no idea.”  
“I didn’t expect you too, that's why I’m telling you now.” Lana met blue eyes across the table, “I just hope I didn’t upset you.”  
“It’s okay Lana, I understand how it feels, for one small thing to trigger a wave of emotions.” Mary reached over and took the hand that Lana had wrapped around her coffee cup and smiled  
“Thanks,” Lana smiled back, “Is that a new dress?” Lana asked changing topics.  
“Yeah.” Mary smiled standing up and so the other woman could get a better view. “I just finished it the other day, I thought you might like it.”  
“It looks very nice on you,” Lana smiled back at her, “It’s a new look, I like it.”  
“Thanks. I’m glad, it’s a bit shorter than what I usually wear, but I felt that it was time I wore something more my age.”  
Lana looked the taller woman up and down once more before standing up and walking over and pulling her into a hug, she felt the girl tense up at first, but relax shortly after, the blonde wrapped her arms around the shorter woman.  
“What was that for?” Mary asked when they pulled back.  
“I’m just so happy to have you here.” Lana smiled sitting back down, she reached over stroking Jonathan head, “Who knows where this little one would be if I hadn’t taken you out of that place.” Lana looked back at Mary, she reached over and grabbed the younger woman's hand, looking into blue eyes she smiled. “Thank you.”  
“I’m the one who should be thanking you, I’m beyond grateful.”  
“A lot of things changed for you this past year, and I’m so proud to see how well you have adjusted.”  
“Thank you.” Mary smiled at the comment blushing lightly.  
“You should wear your hair down like that more often.”  
“I would, but someone likes to play with it when it’s down.” Both women turned and looked at the little boy.

Lana and Mary sat together on the couch one evening, the younger woman had just put Jonathan down and came in and switched on the television, and the older woman sat reading a book. Mary was exhausted, Jonathan had been keeping her on her toes lately, with him crawling faster than ever, several times she had looked away from her sewing to find the little boy wandering off. Overcome with exhaustion Mary fell asleep, she leaned over resting her head on Lana’s shoulder, the brunette just smiled when blonde hair tickled her neck; the two of them had been growing closer. Lana had sent her story to be reviewed by a few publishers, which gave her more time to spend with the younger woman and her son.  
The writer sat on the couch with the younger woman leaned up against her, not paying much attention to the book in her hands or the tv on in front of her. Lana listened to Mary breath, glancing over to watch as the woman's chest rose and fell, ‘She’s so beautiful, you’re so lucky to have her.’ Lana sighed at the thought, ‘Even if this is all that your relationship ever is, being a shoulder for her to lean on, it makes you happy.’ Smiling at the thought she rested her head lightly on the blondes, who upon contact nuzzled closer.


	7. Part Seven

\Part 7  
1967

It was now April, Jonathan was fourteen months old now and was beginning to become quite that handful. Lana had decided to start a journal, in it she would document important bench marks Jonathan reached, also some of the less important ones, Lana had bought it for his first birthday. With him growing so quickly, the journal filled fast, but it wasn’t only Jonathan that Lana began writing about, she would also document some of Mary’s achievements. The writer was beginning to enjoy the boys company, finding that keeping the journal made it easier for her to connect with him.

10th April 1967  
Today Jonathan, took his first few steps on his own, Mary was ecstatic, her smile lit up the whole room.

“Come on Lana! We’ve gotta get going!”  
“Give me a minute!”  
Shaking her head, Mary picked up Jonathan and placed him on her hip, he was wearing little green corduroy overalls accompanied by a white shirt that she had made for him. They were waiting for Lana, she had a meeting with a publisher in the city in three hours, it should take them about an hour and a half to get there, and they had planned on getting lunch before. Mary was wearing a blue knee length jumper, a white turtleneck underneath and white tights with black and white loafers.  
“Lana!” Mary called after five minutes.  
“I’m coming, I’m coming.” Came from down the hall. Mary glanced at the clock, “I’m here let’s go.” Lana grabbed her coat and hurried out the door.  
“You ready?” Mary asked the boy, walking out the door with both their jackets already in hand. Climbing in the passenger side, Mary placed the jackets in the back and held Jonathan on her lap. “Are you ready?” The younger woman looked over and placed her hand on the older woman's shoulder.  
“Yeah.” The brunette replied nervously.  
“You’ll do fine.”

“Ms Winter?” A man in a grey suit walked out into the small waiting area, looking at Lana who was pacing back and forth nervously.  
“Yes.” Lana stopped, looking at the man in the grey suit, “I, yes.”   
“Come with me.”   
“You’ll do fine.” Mary whispered to the woman catching her hand and squeezing it, Lana looked back and smiled nervously, then followed the man into the office.  
“I guess it’s just you and me, little man.” Mary smiled down at the boy, Lana had told the younger woman that it would be a good idea to look around in a few shops instead of sitting around waiting for her, and they would meet up at the cafe in the Marshal Fields. Standing up Mary nodded to the secretary before walking out the door, when she reached the ground floor Mary put Jonathan's jacket on, then hers and stepped out into the cold spring air.  
Mary Eunice was unfamiliar with Boston, she knew where the Marshall Fields was, it was few blocks down, so with Jonathan held to her chest she headed towards the shop. People passed by quickly, in a rush to be somewhere. Mary could never imagine what it would be like to have a real job, commuting to the city everyday, sitting behind a desk, taking phone calls for big men in business suits. As she walked she hummed to the little boy in her arms. Not paying attention to what was infront of her, Mary bumped into someone.  
“Look where you’re going!” The woman in front of her scolded, rushing off quickly.  
“Oh, sorry.” Mary muttered looking up, only to find the woman already gone.   
“Don’t mind people like her, their all in their own little world.” Mary looked up to see a young man leaned up against the brick Marshall Field’s building smoking a cigarette.  
“Thanks.” Mary replied softly, she had been overwhelmed by the fast pace of the city.  
“Hey, do I know ya from somewhere?” The young man asked, accent matching his surroundings.  
“I don’t think so.”  
“He your’s?”   
“No.” Mary replied walking towards the door.  
“Wait,” The young man furrowed his brow and reached out grabbed Mary by the arm, “Sista?”  
“I think you’re confused. Now could you please just let me go.” Mary looked up into the face of the young man, meeting brown eyes, she knew that face, her memory was a bit fuzzy, but she knew where he was from.  
“No. No. I know ya, Sista Mary Eunice. It’s me, Kit Walka.”  
“Kit?” Mary looked at him confused.  
“Yeah, um, I didn’t recognize ya at first, without the a outfit.” He smiled, “What are ya doin out here? And with a baby?”  
“Uhm, could we take this inside?”  
“Sure, there's a little cafe inside.”  
Mary walked into the department store, Kit holding the door for her and Jonathan. Mary Eunice looked around wide eyed, she had never seen anything like it. Looking down she saw her reflection in the shiny tile floor, above were big chandeliers with thousands of sparkling crystals, the walls were trimmed with gold.  
“Ain’t it pretty?” Kit commented, smiling at her, “He seems to like it.” Jonathan was looking around, his eyes sparkling.  
“Yeah, I would think so, there's so much to look at!”  
“Come on let's go upstairs.” Mary followed Kit through the store, taking an elevator up several floors, when they exited they stepped out and headed towards a little cafe.  
“So, if he ain't your’s, then who’s is ‘e?” Kit motioned towards the boy in Mary’s arms.  
“Uh,” She paused, not knowing whether or not to tell him, “M-Miss Winters.”   
“He’s Lana’s?” Mary nodded, “I can kinda see the resemblance. I’m guessing the father is-” Mary stopped him.  
“Yes,” She looked around nervously, then down at the boy in her arms who was standing on her lap holding onto her shoulder and looking around, “We don’t like bringing him up.”  
“Yeah, can’t blame ya.” Kit’s expression changed, “Last time I saw ya, ya were runnin Briarcliff, you seem different.”  
“Oh.” Her mind flashed back to being trapped, a prisoner in her own body, she tried to push the thought aside, “Well, um.” She was nervously tugging at the skirt of her dress. “Well, uh, I wasn’t myself back then, when you knew me.”  
“Oh?” Kit looked confused.  
“Yeah.” She didn't know what she was doing telling this man her story, “Uhm, that wasn’t me, I-”  
“Kit?” They both looked up to see Lana walking towards them, a smile spread across her face.  
“Lana?” Kit stood up and threw his arms around the woman.  
“Uh,” Mary stuttered, relieved to see the woman, “H-how’d it go?”  
“It went well,” Lana sat down and looked at Mary then reached over and squeezed her hand, “Are you okay?”  
“Oh. Yeah.” Mary looked down.  
“What went well?” Kit looked at the excited brunette.  
“Well,” Lana’s smile grew bigger, “I just met with a publisher.”  
“And?”  
“They loved it, and they're going to have it published and on the shelves by next spring!”  
“Congratulations Miss Lana Winter!” Kit patted the woman on the back.  
“I’m so happy for you.” Mary forced a smile.

Lana could see the familiar look in Mary’s eyes, something wasn’t right, “Excuse me,” Lana stood up, “I’ve got to use the ladies room.” She met the girl's troubled eyes, “Mary could you come with me?”  
“Uh, sure, but what about him?” Mary looked down at Jonathan, who was now sitting on her lap.  
“I got ‘im” Kit smiled reaching across the table.  
“Thanks.” Lana smiled, Mary hesitated and looked at Lana, “He’ll be fine.”  
“Okay.” The younger woman stood up and handed the child to Kit.

“What's wrong?” Lana stopped when they entered the restroom, locking the door.  
“It’s nothing.” Mary walked over to the sink and leaned back against it.  
“There’s obviously something bothering you.” She looked at the younger woman worriedly. “You know you can tell me anything.”  
“I know,” the blonde paused looking down at her hands, “but today is supposed to be your day, and I’m so happy for you.”  
“No.” Lana stood only a few feet away. “This sort of thing always comes first, if something is wrong I don’t want you to be afraid to tell me.”  
“It’s okay.”  
“No it’s not, is it something Kit said?” Lana stepped closer.  
“Not exactly. It’s just, he was asking,” Tears began to well up in the young woman's eyes.  
“Hey, it’s okay.” Lana stepped closer and placed a hand on Mary’s cheek, gently running her thumb across soft pale skin, wiping a tear away.  
“For a second I felt like I was back there,” the skin under Lana’s hand grew warmer, “trapped again, b-by that thing.” The young woman let out a sob.  
“You’re here, I’m here, that wasn’t you, and I know you know that,” Lana cupped the young woman’s face with both hands, “and there is no reason to bring that up ever again.”  
“Thanks.” Mary mumbled.  
“You’re welcome,” Lana then pulled Mary close, their bodies pressed together, the taller woman wrapped her arms around the others waist. Lana could feel Mary pull her closer and rest her head on her shoulder. 

Mary pulled Lana closer, she felt a familiar ache in her chest, the same dull pain that she felt the last time she was woken up from a nightmare by the older woman, who had pulled her into her arms to comfort her. Mary felt this ache when she saw the brunette smile, brown eyes sparkling. She could feel her heart racing, for so many years she looked at such a feeling with absolute disgust, but now it was different, she was different.  
Mary pulled back, reaching up she placed her hands on Lana’s cheeks, “I love you.” Was whispered before she leaned forwards bringing their lips together. After a moment she pulled back to look at the woman, slowly Lana’s eyes opened and biting her lower lip she smiled.  
“I know.” The older woman reached up and softly stroked Mary’s cheek.  
“You do?”  
“I’ve always known, the way you look at me, it’s more than just admiration, it’s love.” Lana whispered before pulling her back into another kiss.

Kit was sitting at the table Jonathan sleeping in his arms..  
“Thanks.” Mary reached down and grabbed the sleeping child from the young man.  
“Anytime, he’s a sweet kid.” Kit smiled at the two women. “Now I know women usually take a while in the restroom, but a half an hour?”  
Mary and Lana looked at each other smirking.  
“Oh. Oooh!” They laughed as he realized what was going on, “Really? I’d of never guessed you to be playing for the other team Sista.” Mary frowned at this.  
“Kit, she’s not a member of the church anymore.”  
“Oh, yeah, shoulda known, sorry Mary.”  
“It’s okay.” Mary looked up and smiled shyly.  
“Ya know, Grace would probably love ta see ya Lana.”  
“Really? How is she?”  
“She’s good, she’s a great mother, to both of the kids.”  
“Oh you’ve had another child?”  
“Not exactly, she’s Alma and I’s.”  
“What?” Lana knew about Kit’s former wife, he had talked about her back at Briarcliff, but he thought the woman was dead.  
“Well, when Grace and I arrived at the farm the day we got outta Briarcliff, we found Alma inside the house holding my daughter.”  
“So all three of you live together?” Mary looked confused.  
“Yeah, it’s kinda hard, since it’s illegal an shit in the state of Massachusetts, but we get by. We’re happy, they're happy, I’m happy.”  
“Well I’m glad to hear that Kit.” Lana reached across the table and squeezed his hand smiling.  
“You two should come out ta the farm sometime!” Kit’s face lit up at the idea, “Get the kids together.”  
“That would be nice.” Lana smiled and looked down at the boy sitting on Mary Eunice’s lap, he had just woken up and was beginning to become fidgety and impatient.  
“Hey Lana,” Lana met blue eyes, she knew what the younger woman was thinking.  
“Kit it’s so nice to see you, it’s such a small world isn’t it, I’ll stay in touch with you, but I think it’s time we headed home.”  
“Of course,” Kit smiled and took the pen that Lana had taken from her purse and wrote down his contact information on a clean napkin, “Call me anytime, if you ladies eva need anythin just let me know.”  
Nodding Lana stood up and took the napkin from him, then leaned down and quickly wrote down her info and handed it to him. Kit stood up and quickly pulled the shorter woman into a hug.  
“Good luck with ya book, I’ll be first in line to buy it.”  
“I’ll send you a copy.”   
Once they parted Lana turned around to the young woman standing behind her awkwardly, Jonathan squirming in her arms. “Ready?” Mary nodded.

Marry looked out the window as Lana drove away from the city, she held Jonathon up to the window. Running into Kit had caused unwanted thoughts and memories to resurface. Images flashed before her eyes, instead of seeing the buildings that passed by, she saw Kit Walker, back in his cell at Briarcliff, she remembered finding Grace in the day room, blood dripping down her legs. All she wanted was to forget, she had, for a while. Small things brought bad memories, she would remember the feeling of being trapped, a prisoner in her own body, screams going unheard for so long. Mary didn’t want to be here, even though, yes, now she had Lana, she had finally confessed her feelings, but it wasn’t enough. All the lives that she had effected back in Briarcliff, all the faces flashed before her, she had hurt so many, she had hurt Lana.  
“Mary?” The older woman’s voice startled her, bringing her back to reality.  
“Huh?” Her face was wet, she didn’t realize she had been crying.  
“Hun, are you okay?” The term of endearment made her smile shyly, she looked over at the brunette.  
“Yeah. Just got lost in thoughts.” Mary knew she wasn’t okay, but she didn’t want to upset Lana.  
“Okay, we’re almost home.”  
It was a relief when they arrived home, Mary was exhausted, but she still had to feed Jonathan and get him ready for bed. All though it didn’t seem like much, going out that day was very hard for her, it had taken almost all of her energy.

April 17th 1967  
Was reunited with Kit Walker today, Jonathan seemed to like him.   
Mary confessed that she loved me, then we kissed. It’s about time.


	8. Part Eight

Part 8  
1967

November 3rd 1967  
Jonathan has both Mary and I on our toes all the time, he’s not just walking he’s running, and he is quite the little chatter box, although he speaks mostly gibberish. People have been commenting a lot lately on his resemblance to me, which is a relief.  
I’m worried about Mary, she hasn’t been sleeping well, her nightmares have come back and are quite frequent.

Lana was awoken by a kick to her side, she looked over to see Mary thrashing around in her sleep, she looked distressed. Lana sat up and turned the light on, looking over at the clock to see that it was two in the morning. Quickly she reached over and pulled the girl into her arms, at first Mary fought the woman's embrace, after quite a fight Lana managed to calm Mary down.  
“Hey, hey it’s okay,” Lana tried to calm her down, she looked frightened, “It’s okay, Lana’s here, Mary, you’re safe.” She placed kisses into blonde hair. Mary Eunice whimpered, tears running down her face, she seemed to calm down a little at the familiar voice. “Mary, love, wake up, you’re having a bad dream.” Lana lightly shook her, she had a hand on one of the girl's cheeks, she was burning up, “Mary, please wake up.”  
After about fifteen minutes of rocking the young woman in an attempt to calm her down, she finally awoke.  
“Lana?” Mary looked up wide eyed, “What's going on?”  
“You were having a nightmare. Are you feeling okay?”  
“Yeah, just a bit shaken up.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Okay, I was really worried, you were shaking like a leaf.”  
“Sorry to wake you up.”  
“Mary, hun, you know that it’s okay,” Lana cupped Mary’s cheeks, “You would have done the same thing for me.”  
“Yeah I guess, but I’m still sor-” She was cut off by Lana who pulled her into a soft kiss. When they pulled apart, Mary looked into sparkling brown eyes and smiled, blushing. “Thanks.”  
“You know I would do anything to make sure that you felt safe.” She said pressing their foreheads together, before leaning in more to bring their lips back together. The phone rang causing them to pull a part.  
“Who calls at three in the morning?” Mary looked at Lana confused.  
“I’m not sure,” She reached over to the bedside table and answered the phone, “He- Kit? Kit calm down, I can't understand you.” Lana’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped.  
“What is it?”  
“Oh my god.” Lana sat up at the side of the bed, “Kit, I-I don’t know what to say. Yeah, we’ll come over tomorrow. I’m so sorry, stay calm, call the police in the morning.” She put the phone down.  
“Lana,” Mary crawled over and sat behind the woman placing her hands on her shoulders, “what is it?” Silence, “Lana? What's wrong?” The older woman dropped her head into her hands, “Lana.” Mary dropped kisses into brown hair and wrapped her arms around her trying to comfort her.  
“I, I don't know what to say.” She whispered, she was shaking her head.  
“It’s okay if you’re having a hard time.” Mary leaned back and just rested against Lana’s back.  
“A-Alma, she, Grace, poor Kit.” Was all that was audible between Lana’s sobs.  
“Hey, it’s okay, you can tell me once you settle down. Whatever it is you need to let it sink in first.”  
“No, no, it’s it’s not okay, not at all okay,” Lana stopped crying, she became more serious, “Grace is dead.”  
“What?” Mary slid around and sat next to Lana.  
“Alma killed her, tonight, he- he was sitting talking to Grace and Alma came out of nowhere with an axe and murdered Grace.”  
“Oh my god.” Was all Mary could say, her shoulders slumped down and her eyes went wide.

Kit called that evening, he had told Lana that Alma was getting admitted to Briarcliff the next day and that he had to go and fill out the paperwork. He asked if they could come and watch the kids, so that next morning with Mary holding Jonathan, Lana drove them out to the little farm in the country.  
“Kit?” Lana called as she knocked on the screen door. Slowly the door opened, Kit was standing there, two kids standing behind him, a boy with light golden brown hair and a little girl with darker skin and curly brown hair.  
“Hey, come in.” Kit sighed, he looked exhausted.  
“Thanks.” She smiled down at the two children as she walked in, Mary close behind. Once inside Lana walked up to the young man and pulled him into her arms, “I’m so sorry Kit.”  
“Yeah.” He whispered. He pulled back and looked at the two children, “Thomas, Julia, this is Lana and Mary, they’re here to watch you while I take care a ya Mama.” The two looked at him wide eyed, then looked over at the two woman and the boy in Mary’s arms. “Oh, and that is Jonathan.” The little boy smiled at his name. “Now why don’t you go show Miss Mary and Jonathan around while I talk to Miss Lana, okay?” The two nodded, Julia took Mary’s free hand and led her through the small house.

“I haven’t told Thomas yet.” Kit was shaking his head, rocking back and forth on his heels.  
“What?”  
“How am I supposed ta tell a two year old that his motha is dead, it was hard enough tellin Julia that Alma had to go away for a while.”  
“Kit, I know this is hard, but you’ve got to tell him something.”  
“I know, well what are you gonna do when ya little boy comes asking about his father? Huh? What then?” Kit looked aggravated, but after he realized what he said, he froze, eyes wide.  
“What?” Lana whispered angrily, tears flooding her eyes, “How dare you.”  
“Lana, Lana! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean ta say that, I’m just frustrated that all.”  
“I’m staying only for the kids, go take care of your wife.” With that Lana went to find Mary and the kids, Kit followed.  
“Hey, I-I gotta get goin, you two be good now okay?” The two kids looked up from their toys and nodded.

Once Kit was gone Lana sat down on the couch next to where the kids were playing together, Julia and Thomas were showing Jonathan their toys. Mary sat on the floor watching them with a smile on her face, when Lana sat down Mary looked up and frowned, “What’s wrong?” The blonde asked standing up.  
“It doesn't matter right now.”  
“Are you sure? We can talk about it.” Mary sat down next to Lana who was shaking her head.  
“Yeah, I’m fine.” The blonde reached over and wiped a tear from the others cheek.  
“Okay.” Mary wrapped her arm around Lana who then leaned in and rested her head on Mary’s shoulder.  
“Thanks.” Lana sighed as Mary ran her fingers through soft brown hair. The pair sat together watching the children play together. Both Lana and Mary were taken aback by how bright Julia and Thomas were for their age, it was almost strange.

Several hours had passed by, Lana was standing in the small kitchen preparing something for them all to eat, Mary was sitting on the floor playing with Julia, laughing as Jonathan chased Thomas around, they all paused when they heard the door open and watched as Kit walked in.  
“Hey kiddos.” Kit sighed, Thomas running up to him, Kit bent down to pick him up, “Did ya have fun today?” The little boy nodded.  
“Hey.” Lana looked at the young man, he looked even more exhausted than before, his smile was forced and the color was drained from his face.  
“How were they?” Kit looked back and forth between the two women.  
“Good.” Mary smiled standing up, Julia had left the spot on the rug to greet her father.  
“They were great, Kit.” Lana smiled, forgetting the argument they had had that morning. “You should be proud.”  
“Of course I’m proud a’ these two!” Kit tried to look happy, but it looked forced, he reached down and ruffled Julia’s hair. “Whatcha makin?”  
“Just some spaghetti, I hope you don’t mind, it was getting late so I just figured.”  
“No. It’s just fine, and that sounds great, I could use something to eat.”

The six of them sat together and ate, Jonathan on Mary’s lap getting a few noodles here and there. Kit sat at the head of the table, Julia and Thomas at his sides seated on phone books that were placed on their chairs so they could reach the table. After they ate Lana and Mary cleaned up, Kit sat on the couch and watched the kids.  
“Do you think he’s okay?” Mary asked as she took a dish from Lana to dry.  
“Would you be okay if you were in his position?” Lana looked up from the sink. “I think it will take a while for him to really be okay.”  
“Yeah, maybe we should come by more often, and Jonathan could use to socialize more with kids around his age.”

November 22nd, 1967  
Jonathan met Julia and Thomas today, they all played well together. Mary enjoyed watching them.  
What am I going to tell him when he’s older?

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment letting me know your thoughts, and if you have any suggestions or ideas for later.


End file.
